Combat Irrational Thoughts with REBT

Have you ever felt like it is your job to please everybody, or that everyone in your life must love you? Have you felt like your worth is determined by your work and someone else’s approval is absolutely necessary to validate you? Often times, we hold ourselves (and others) to extremely high standards and statements with words like should and must often create a sense of compulsion. Unconsciously using such words leads us to believe that things are non-negotiable and leave little room for flexibility, which may be necessary to cope with changing circumstances. Actions driven by fear are often a result of irrational thinking.

Most of us have at some point or the other dealt with irrational thoughts, and in the moment, they seem debilitating to many. Rational emotive behaviour therapy (REBT) is an action-oriented approach that helps individuals cope with irrational beliefs. It is a type of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) introduced by Albert Ellis that aims to equip people with tools to manage their emotions, thoughts and behaviour more healthily and realistically.

Irrational beliefs are capable of shaping one’s self-image and may result in problems in an individual’s life. REBT helps them recognise and acknowledge said patterns of negative thought and overcome any distress caused by them. Ellis believed that our thoughts, emotions and actions are interconnected. He also felt that analysing our thoughts and beliefs about certain experiences and understanding how they make us feel is helpful while understanding the impact of said experiences.

The ABC model is at the core of REBT. It is an acronym for Activating event, Belief and Consequence. The model explains how it is an innate response for us to blame external events for any unpleasant feelings, yet it is actually our very own interpretation of the events that lead to such feelings.

So how is one supposed to apply the ABC model? Let’s say you did not perform as well as you would have liked to in a test, and so you start believing that you are good at nothing and begin to undermine your worth. In this scenario, a professional would ask you to identify the activating event (your test result) and the consequence or how the event made you feel (sad and unworthy). Then, they may ask you to identify the specific belief (that you must do well to be worthy) that led you to certain emotions. This would help establish that your beliefs may be irrational, since one is not going to be perfect at all times and the highs and lows do not define us.

While this may seem like a rather simple technique, it just scratches the surface of what REBT can do to combat irrational thoughts. It has been found to help individuals with anxiety, depression, OCD and social anxiety among many others. Moreover, REBT can help you gain insight into your emotional responses and change your behaviour to respond more rationally.

NOTE: This article was originally written for The Mind Garden.